Ten things I hate about you (other people) isn’t at all difficult. I’m not sure if this makes me a bitch or if my standards are too high. Friendships, family and relationships are something which requires commitment and work from both parties. Recognize and affirm someone else’s language of love. Mine is acts of service and quality time. I like for people to do nice things for me and spend some time with me doing something. Netflix and Chillin’ isn’t quality time to me. My husband’s is physical touch and words of affirmation. He likes to be hugged, kissed and cuddled and told he’s wonderful. Do you know your language of love?
- I hate inappropriate forms of communication. Don’t post important shit on Facebook without making a telephone call first. Within the last year, a cousin has died and an uncle suffered a stroke. I found out on social media. This is in the same family as breaking up by email or text. That’s not cool.
- I hate being someone else’s “nothing better to do”. When asked for assistance or invited to an event, don’t answer with “if nothing else comes up” because it makes me feel like second choice. I’m not an afterthought. I’m a priority. I don’t need callousness in my life.
- I hate being forgotten. I like to think I’m important but it’s hard to keep building myself up when other people consistently let me down. Don’t tell me you’ll do something and not do it. Or rather, let me know you can’t do it so I can get someone else to do it for me even if I have to pay for it.
- I hate that you have time for everybody else but me. Don’t be that friend. Better yet, say up front we’re not friends. It will save me some stress and heartache.
- I hate when you reach out only when you need me for something. Don’t be a user. If you only call me when you need something, chances are I’m going to stop answering.
- I hate playing oneupmanship. Be happy for my successes instead of telling me something about you that’s better than what I accomplished. If you can’t be happy for me as I can be for you, I’m not going to share. I’ll shut down.
- I hate when you try to manipulate me. I’m the youngest of nine children and the mother of six. I can spot a good con from a good distance. My older siblings always wanted me to take the blame and my children thought they could get away with stuff just because I loved them. You’re not related to me so you don’t even get to try your hand out. Besides, it’s not a healthy habit to have.
- I hate when you lie to me. You may feel it’s in my best interest, or even your own, to be dishonest with me about something. There’s no reason to lie. I’m a big girl. I can take it. Honesty builds integrity in a relationship. When that integrity takes a hit, trust is hard to reestablish.
- I hate that you feel the need to talk about me, but won’t talk to me. If you’re not part of the problem, nor are you part of the solution, you’re gossiping.
- Most of all, I hate you. For belittling my beliefs, my political stance, my position on abortion or the death penalty. You won’t be my friend and confidant because I don’t believe what you believe? Why can’t you embrace our differences? We bring out the bad things in each other. We can’t disagree. I hate that I lost your friendship, but then we weren’t really friends, were we?
This is obviously a collective “you” and not aimed at any one person specifically. Are you guilty? Can you change? Do you want to change? Don’t do to people the things you hate for people to do to you. I invite you to take you own journey. Share your thoughts with me. I just hate it when ….
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Until next time!